because you're stronger than you're letting yourself be.
----

I'm back.

This is going to be on the short side, since I'm zonked from canoeing camp and the showerhead's screaming: CARA, WE HAVE HOT WATER!

...Sometimes things just come at you, and you have to take them on and battle right through them.
And then those things blur into a haze of pain and sweat and countless thinkings of, "I can't do this", but you push on anyway and it hurts so bad; you wish something- anything- would happen and put you out of your pain, but you push on, and you feel yourself becoming part of the pain itself, and it hurts, and it hurts, but you go on anyway.

And it feels like you're drowning- like everything's rushing down on you all at once, and the perspiration (tears? water?) in your eyes make it hard to see, and your lungs feel as if they're about to collapse, and everything hurts and then in a matter of seconds, it's all over.

I have realized that if I don't have a certain something-
- I don't feel real.

I need it to feel alive; and my gosh, it does blow- majorly so- to know that I could have become so dependent on something so trivial;

- But then again, we're all looking for something that takes away the pain.

And this secret is mine, and mine alone; and although sometimes it hurts so bad;
I nod and admit dependance.


...Am I making sense?

...I didn't think so.

Ah, well. I love you, lovelies. If you've read this far, I think you're even lovelier.

...And before I say anything else strange, I probably should go.

<3